“There are two wonderful guys in my life, and I don’t know if this sounds weird or something, but, I want both of them, and, for totally different reasons. The weird thing, too, is I’m not sure they see me how I see them.
Jake…Jake…I love Jake; he’s an Adonis – handsome, kind, considerate, if a little shy with me. We connect well, and always have but, he seems to be hung up on Amy – it’s as if she’s somehow grabbed his heart from me, and I don’t understand exactly what he sees in her. She’s a bit sappy and reserved but, he’s been taken in by her blond presence, which so many people at high school are. She’s not the only game in town, which some people forget.
Then there’s Chad, my dear, sweet Chaddie…unlike Jake, Chad’s someone who I can tell my deepest desires to – and he’d tell me his, which we already do, and have done, forever. While I feel I could do the same with Jake, I sense his mind is always elsewhere, being Amy, and while he listens to me, he doesn’t listen like Chad does. When I look into Chad’s eyes, I know his mind’s on me, and, although I know he wants Amy more than life, he always makes time for me, and I the same for him. While Chad says he wants Amy, the way he looks at me sometimes, makes me melt, and doubt if he really wants Amy, or is just playing games with Amy, and me; but I don’t know for sure… Chad’s a bit of a tease, and likes to play things out this way, which I love about him.
I feel so mixed up by these two handsome guys, who both have beautiful hearts, but, who couldn’t be more different. I have the feeling if everything goes to plan with Jake, though, I’ll be losing out on having Chad as my best friend, which is something I don’t want to sacrifice, not for anyone…”
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